Contrived Internee
by Riku-Rocks
Summary: On Oct. 31st, 1981, Sirius flees to the only person who can possibly help him after Peter escapes. From there, they contrive a plan that will save his future…and condemn another. Can Sirius save his last remaining friend from a life of misery of pain?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own, hold any rights to, or am in any way affiliated with, Harry Potter, etc._

_**Possible mild spoilers for past events referred to in all Harry Potter books.**_

_If you require pairing spoilers, see my profile page._

**Author's note: **_This story picks up directly after Peter changes and flees after the events of Oct. 31st, 1981. All events beforhand occur as we are told they do in the books. Special thanks to Jediempress for convincing me that this story was not a load of rubbish. Riku-Rocks._

* * *

Sirius Apparated before the Magical Law Enforcement Squad could reach him. He could not believe it. James and his wife were gone. Peter had been the spy all along. Peter had betrayed them all… In addition, Sirius had let him, even helped him… And, _oh Merlin_, Remus… what must he think of them by now? They had completely abandoned him. Peter had ruined everything. 

Sirius needed to get this cleared up, and there was only one person who would listen to him now, _if_ he had not burned that bridge down to ash during the past couple months.

He arrived in Remus' small flat, and felt another wave of guilt. They had shared Sirius' flat until they had a bad row nearly two months past. Sirius had started it; actually, Sirius had _carried_ it. Remus had hardly said anything and had not raised his voice once during the whole argument, if one could call it that. Sirius could not recall actually telling the other to leave, but it had been clear enough that he was unwanted, and Remus, never one for confrontation, had left that night without a word of protest.

Now, Remus rushed into the room (wand drawn, of course) and suddenly froze when he saw Sirius. "Padfoot, what happened?" He asked, voice almost desperate. "They're saying that you betrayed James and Lily, that you murdered Peter along with several others. How…? What happened?"

"Remus," said Sirius, his voice just as desperate. "I swear it isn't what it looks like. I didn't betray them, it was Peter."

Remus' eyes widened slightly, but he kept them focused on the man before him. "Peter… but how? You were… Unless…you switched…without telling me, but why…?" The shock remained in his features, it would probably be there for quite some time, however, the shock became secondary to sorrow now, and that would remain for even longer. When he spoke again, his voice was no longer desperate. Nor was it accusing, as Sirius would have expected from anyone else. It sounded crushed and defeated. "You thought I was the spy. All of you." With that, he lowered his eyes and his wand.

"Remus, I…" Sirius began, but the other man interrupted him.

"Never mind that for now," Remus said as he raised his head again, "What happened tonight?"

Sirius explained everything, starting with his grand idea to convince James into making Peter their Secret-Keeper, and ending with him tracking down Peter. He told Remus about Peter naming him as the traitor and then killing several Muggles and cutting off his finger before transforming into a rat and scurrying off. This left Sirius to take the fall.

When he reached the end of his explanation, Sirius' eyes widened as he realised something he had not thought of before. "The Aurors! Remus, I have to go. If they find me here, they'll assume you had something to do with this, and the Ministry won't waste any time in persecuting a werewolf… even if they have no evidence to support it."

To Sirius' surprise, Remus gained a distant and thoughtful expression for a moment. Sirius knew that look, it meant he was deciding something important, possibly life altering. After a brief moment, the werewolf spoke quietly. "Then let them."

"What? Remus, you can't mean that," Sirius replied. He could not shake the feeling that he was missing something… something _important_. "I won't have us both throw our lives away like that."

"Neither would I," Remus conceded. "Sirius, you know the Ministry won't stop until they have someone to hold accountable for this. They need to save face, and you're right about the lack of evidence not stopping them, for you as well."

"I know, but it will be even more difficult for you," answered Sirius; he still had that feeling, and he did not like that. "Besides, it's not as though they would let us share a cell; it wouldn't do any good if we were both thrown into Azkaban." Remus nodded his agreement to that logic; however, that only made the feeling of unease increase within Sirius.

"How many know that you suspected me?" Remus asked, his voice sounded carefully neutral. "By _you_ I also mean James and Lily."

Sirius was a little taken aback because it wasn't like Remus to ask such a question, especially in a situation such as the one they were facing, but he decided the other had every right to know and this may be the last time they spoke to each other. Besides, knowing his friend, there was probably another reason behind the query.

"No one knows for certain. At first, we defended you if anyone else in the Order said anything. For the longest time, I wouldn't even consider it as a possibility." Sirius wanted to say that how much he regretted that he had accepted it, but Remus was right, there was not time for that now. "After awhile though, they began to doubt and then I- but none of us ever said it." Sirius never could say it aloud. James and Lily never had either. It was as if they were afraid that verbalizing their fear would make it a fact, and then there would be no room for doubts.

"Good, then tell the Aurors that you suggested switching to me as Secret-Keeper. You stayed quiet so the real spy would believe you had accepted that I was the traitor. When Dumbledore and the others think back, it will make perfect sense. It is, essentially the plan you made anyway, and everyone knows that I can keep a secret. They'll believe it, and as you said, the Ministry will be more then willing to accept that a werewolf was on Lord Voldemort's side without any evidence…and no one will care if I don't receive a fair trial."

"No!" Sirius responded before the suggestion even settled in properly. "Remus, they will throw you in Azkaban for life…_if _you're lucky. Besides, Peter is still alive and out there."

"Exactly…Think about Harry," Remus answered mildly, almost subjectively. "They will never allow me to have custody of him, and you know how Lily's sister feels about our world. However, you are his godfather; they _have _to give him to you unless you are found guilty. Sirius, if they take you then Harry and I have lost everything, but if we do this, then you and Harry still have a chance to be happy...to be together."

"They won't look for Peter if they have you in Azkaban," Sirius said intrepidly.

"They won't look for him either way," answered Remus, his voice even softer.

Sirius despised the whole idea, but at the same time, he had to admit that Remus was right. He searched for an argument that he could use against it. "There were witnesses that heard Peter declare me the traitor before half the street was destroyed. The Ministry can't ignore that; they'll take us both."

Remus' eyes flicked down to Sirius wand, and the dark haired man knew that the other was doing some very quick thinking. "_Priori Incantatem_…they can use your wand to prove you did not cast the spell that killed all those people. Tell them everything as it happened, except for the changes I already suggested. Also, tell them about going to Peter's house, -make an excuse- and then tracking him down. Tell them you were not sure anymore about who the spy was by that point. Peter called you the traitor and then the street exploded, you have no idea how."

"That's ridiculous, Remus, there were witnesses." Sirius was finding it harder to argue, but he did not want to allow Remus to do this for him.

"The witnesses obviously didn't see many details if they failed to notice a full grown man turn into a rat," remarked the fawn-haired young man without missing a trick. "Also, those witnesses have most likely been obliviated already. Point that out; Muggles are easily confused when faced with magic. I am not asking you to claim I was the spy Sirius, just convince them it was not you. They'll reach the conclusion that it was me on their own."

"Yes, right after I tell them that a werewolf was the Secret-Keeper," Sirius commented bitterly.

"Right after you tell them that you _suggested_ a werewolf as the Secret-Keeper," Remus corrected. "Just say that as far as you know, James accepted your advice. You were not present when the magic was cast, naturally."

"And if the real spy is caught later on?" Sirius prompted, although he was no longer sure if he was arguing or asking for more details about the plan. If the circumstances had not been so dire, Sirius would have laughed at how much it felt like fine-tuning a prank back at Hogwarts.

"As I said, neither of us will claim I'm the traitor. You say you weren't certain, and I'll say it was Peter," Remus offered. "If they never catch him, at least you and Harry will be alright. If they do, you can ask that they review my case. The mere fact that he is alive is bound to arouse some suspicion. Who knows, maybe they'll let me go."

"But we can't count on that," said Sirius.

"No," Remus shook his head sadly, "we can't."

"I don't want to let you do this," whispered Sirius, staring at the other's face. _Nevertheless, I will._

"I know, Padfoot," Remus whispered in response, meeting Sirius' eyes. _You have to._

Without breaking eye contact, Sirius crossed the space between them, and then embraced the other man, who returned the gesture immediately.

"I'm so sorry, Moony," breathed Sirius.

"I know, Padfoot," Remus exhaled.

"Can you ever forgive me?" whispered Sirius.

"I already have," answered Remus softly.

"You don't have to do this," Sirius offered, "maybe they'll believe me anyway."

"It doesn't matter what they believe, they need someone to hold responsible," countered Remus. "I don't have the future that you have anyway, and I cannot offer Harry the future that you can either."

"I'll tell him all about you, so he'll know who you are when you come back to us," said Sirius, and he hoped that he sounded more optimistic then he felt.

"I'd like that." Remus was much better at forced optimism then Sirius. "Take care of yourself, Padfoot."

"You too, Moony…" Sirius reluctantly let go, and very soon after, the Aurors arrived and took both men to the Ministry.

The way Sirius could see the Ministry officials treating Remus before they were separated for questioning removed any doubts he had about whether the lycanthrope was right in his assessment of the situation. It was obvious that as far as they were concerned, Remus was guilty. They were simply considering the possibility that Sirius had been working for Lord Voldemort alongside him, due to the incident with Peter as well as the general belief that he was the Potters' Secret-Keeper. As soon as Sirius gave the statements that Remus had suggested, his inquisitor's tone drastically changed. They clearly decided that they were dealing with a victim instead of a villain. Sirius wondered how Remus, who was more of a victim in this then he, was faring.

When they began to refer to Remus as 'it' or 'the werewolf' instead of 'him' or 'Mr. Lupin', Sirius knew his friend had already been condemned. Yet again, he had helped destroy the life of someone he loved.

Sirius enquired without hope about speaking to Remus before he left, and was not surprised that he could not. Instead, he asked what he needed to do to claim custody of his godson. A fair amount of paperwork along with an argument with Dumbledore later, and he was the legal guardian of one Harry James Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius took all the precautions he could to ensure Harry's safety. He moved them into his parents old house after cleaning it out, and then he and Dumbledore added additional spells and enchantments to the one's Sirius' father already had on the dwelling.

In the years following, Sirius told Harry all about the gentle werewolf who gave his freedom for their safety and happiness. He also told the boy about his parents, grandparents, and the marauders' time at Hogwarts. He took the liberty of keeping all of Remus' personal belongings, and was pleased to show Harry the photo album that was included, as well as the ones he kept himself.

Sirius knows that Harry cannot remember that the third word he ever said was 'Moony'; he only knows this because Sirius has told him. He knows that the child was far too young to be able to consciously recall the person attached to that name. However, somewhere between his subconscious memories, the stories he has been told, and the photographs he's been shown, the boy seems to _know_ Remus sometimes. He even seems to care about him, but maybe that is just because he can tell how much Remus meant, and still means, to Sirius. In any case, that makes Sirius feel pleased, and sometimes, when he and Harry are laughing or just enjoying a moment of contentment, he can almost forgive himself for the mistakes of his past.

Werewolves are not kept in the standard cells of Azkaban; they are held in special cages in the dungeons, where the sun never shines and the bars that separate them are made of silver. They do not last as long as the prisoners kept above ground. The dementors drain them of every cheerful thought, leaving them with only their worst memories, which for even the most passive werewolf are usually horrific. In addition, they endure weeks, months, or years, depending on how long an individual lasts, without light or fresh air. Combine all of that to the terribly painful transformations, which also remove their sense of self every month, as well as the lack of proper care afterwards, and it all leads to a rather short life span. Most only last a month a two, some last longer, but they usually lose their sanity around the third month.

Remus however, has lasted for years. No one understands how. He has remained quiet and unobtrusive. Somehow, the wolf seems more lonely and sad, then angry and bloodthirsty when it is unleashed once a month. His wand was broken, but he always was talented with wandless magic, so he manages to patch himself up enough to stay alive, although he is usually weak from his injuries (among other things), and some will never fully heal. Many who knew him would not recognise him anymore. Somehow, he has managed to remain sane, as far as anyone can tell, although he practically never speaks. It is almost as if he is patiently waiting for something. He's been waiting for it the last ten years that he's been in this awful place. Sometimes, it seems as though he is about to break, other times, it seems he could wait patiently for the rest of his life.

Miles away, Sirius has been waiting too, but he has never been as patient as Remus. Therefore, one day, during Harry's first year at Hogwarts, when he receives another letter from his godson along with a photo, he wastes no time.

The photo is of Harry, with his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, however it is Ron's pet rat (Sirius recalls Harry referring to the animal as Scabbers) that grabs Sirius' focus and holds his attention. He saw that rat at least once a month for six or seven years, although it had all of its toes then. Harry, who was told the truth of what happened the night his parents were murdered, had noticed this coincidence, hence the letter and photo.

The first thing Sirius wants to do is go to Hogwarts and _murder_ that rat. He feels completely justified in this thought, after all the anguish that Peter has caused him, Harry, and Remus.

That thought stops him in his tracks. Remus would not condone this course of action; it is too rash and too risky. Remus would try to sort out the truth first, before entertaining any ideas of bringing Peter to justice. Now, _that _thought leads Sirius to another thought. If he could bring Peter in alive, he could prove that Remus was innocent… He could get him back.

So Sirius decided to do what he has wanted to all these years… what he _should_ have done; He went to Dumbledore.

After a lengthy -and at times incoherent- explanation, Sirius sat down to await Dumbledore's response. The old wizard sat with his fingers intertwined and his hands resting on his lap, his twinkling eyes never leaving Sirius' grey ones.

"That was quite a story, Sirius," said the old professor. "I rather suspected that there was something out of sorts with Remus' incarceration. He never was the type to do such a thing, and he always cherished his friends more than any other whom I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."

"Then why didn't you do something?!" Sirius stood angrily, "If you knew that Remus was innocent, why didn't you save him from this?"

"Because there was only so much I could do without this assistance," answered Dumbledore calmly. "In addition, the Ministry would have wanted another suspect, and Remus was obviously no twilling to let them explore the most logical candidate for that."

Sirius just stood there dumbfounded for a moment. "You expect me to believe that you did it to protect me?"

"No, _Remus_ did it to protect you," Dumbledore corrected. "I merely respected _his_ wishes for me to let him accept the repercussions of his choices."

Sirius felt the anger ebb out of him as a powerful guilt settled in its place. He sat down again. "Then you are just as guilty as I am, less than, actually. At least you aren't the one who sent him in your place."

"Now, now, Sirius," said Dumbledore sympathetically. "You did not have many options, and I am quite sure that Remus made a very good case for his proposal. In any event, it does no good to dwell on the past. The question is; can we save what remains of his future?"

"There is no question," Sirius said steadily. "We have to… _I _have to… I- I have to save him." Then, he fiercely added, "and Peter needs to pay for what he did."

"Ah, Yes," said Dumbledore softly, "Peter… We still need to discern that Scabbers is indeed Peter Pettigrew." The old wizard smiled at Sirius, "To think that you three managed such a feat at such a young age…and right under our noses as well."

"Well, you know how we loved taking risks," said Sirius, "and it was the only thing we could do to make a difference for Remus."

"I doubt that Remus would agree," commented Dumbledore. "I think your friendship made the most severe difference of his life after his lycanthropy."

"Harry's got Peter," Sirius commented firmly. "We've waited for ten years; I don't plan to wait much longer."

"Very well, Sirius," responded Dumbledore before turning to one of the many portraits that lined the walls of his office. "Could you please ask Professor McGonagall to bring Mr. Potter and Scabbers here?"

The witch in the portrait inclined her head before disappearing behind the frame. Dumbledore waited calmly in his chair while enjoying a lemon drop. Sirius fidgeted in his chair until he could not stand to sit any longer, then he paced the office floor.

After Sirius had crossed the room thirty-nine times, there was a curt knock at the door, which announced Professor McGonagall's arrival.

"Come in Minerva," Dumbledore said graciously, as if he had all the time in the world. "Good afternoon, Harry," the headmaster greeted kindly.

"Professor Dumbledore," Harry said in breathless voice, as though he had run a very long way. Then the bespectacled boy turned to his godfather, "Sirius, did you tell him? I brought Scabb- ow!"

The eleven-year-old struggled to hold the rat, which began to wriggle, scratch, and bite at the sound of Sirius' name. Before the Animagus could cause any notable damage, Sirius pulled him from Harry's grasp.

"Your corpse is all I need, Peter," Sirius hissed at the rat. "Now are you going to stop or am I going to snap your neck?"

The rat stopped biting and clawing, but it continued to wriggle and squeak. Sirius tightened his grip as he turned to Dumbledore and McGonagall, "He's not going to turn back on his own; he may not even be able to anymore. Are you ready?"

Dumbledore placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and gently guided the boy back, away from Sirius and the rat.

McGonagall raised her wand with a steady hand and gave Sirius a curt nod, "Hold him as steady as you can, Mr. Black."

Sirius held the rat away from his body, his knuckles turning white from the strain of his firm grip. McGonagall raised her wand and moved it once, in a brusque jabbing motion towards the rat.

Sirius dropped the rat and held his own wand at the ready as the Animagus began to change into his human form. McGonagall and Dumbledore also had their wands trained on 'Scabbers'. Harry was still standing slightly behind Dumbledore, and was watching the odd scene before him with a mixture of awe and disgust.

The transformation completed quickly, and then, cowering on the ground where the rat had been, was a dumpy blonde man with small watery eyes. Those eyes scanned the room occupants quickly before setting on Dumbledore.

"Dumbledore!" he cried in a squeaky voice. Then he pointed a long nailed finger in Sirius' general direction. "You cannot believe the lies this man has been telling. He's a Death Eater! He betrayed James and Lily, and then he attacked me and tricked poor Remus into taking the blame."

"_Me_," shouted Sirius, "You dare to claim that _I_ would follow that filthy master of yours?! That _I_ would betray my friends and _use_ Remus?! You're lucky Harry is here or you would be dead right now, I-"

"Sirius," interrupted Dumbledore calmly. "If I may, I would like to ask Mr. Pettigrew a few questions about his claims."

Sirius's turned to look at Dumbledore so quickly he appeared to give himself whiplash. "What? Why? You cannot possibly believe this rubbish." He never took his wand off the cowering man in the centre of the room.

"I simply would like to hear both sides of the argument before any Ministry officials are involved," stated the old wizard.

The dark-haired young man nodded, and then Dumbledore returned his attention to Pettigrew, whose beady eyes had been darting between them as they spoke. "I am to take it then, Mr Pettigrew, that you are aware of what Mr. Black has been claiming, and you intend to disprove this theory?"

"Yes," said Pettigrew in that same squeaky voice. "I don't know exactly what he's claiming of course, but I know that he's still trying to pass the buck!"

"Well then, allow me to clarify," said Dumbledore steadily, his eyes never leaving the small man's shifty ones. "Mr. Black claims that you were the spy in the Order all those years ago. He admits that you made a very convincing case against Remus, and says that is why he so wrongly mistrusted him. He also says that this is why he convinced James and Lily to use _you _as Secret-Keeper instead of him, and that when they did...you betrayed them to Lord Voldemort.

"After their unfortunate deaths, he states that he tracked you down, and that you killed all those poor Muggles, severed your own finger, and then transformed into a rat before making good your escape. He says he then fled to Remus, who contrived a plan of action which led to his current confinement at Azkaban and allowed for Mr. Black and Harry to have the merry lives that they have enjoyed since."

Dumbledore's gaze appeared to bore straight into Pettigrew's mind as he concluded, "Now that you know exactly what is being claimed, do you wish to offer any rebuttal?"

"O- Of course! Why would _I _join He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" countered Pettigrew once he seemed to steady his verves a bit. "_My _family was not involved in the Dark Arts. _I _was never particularly gifted. _Sirius _was, and he proved he was capable of betraying and endangering his friends when we were still in school…and Remus showed him then, that he would always give Sirius the benefit of the doubt, that he would never turn his back on him."

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Sirius harshly. "Remus was kind and understanding enough to forgive a foolish mistake even back then. He always was the mature one. How does that prove that I am the traitor?"

Pettigrew continued speaking to Dumbledore when he answered. "He knew that if he were caught, he could pin the blame on Remus and that Remus would go along with him."

"But why would he join to begin with?" asked McGonagall tersely. "He made it clear from the time he was sorted that he did not intend to follow in his forebears' footsteps."

"He befriended a werewolf," added Harry from behind Dumbledore's desk. "No one who believed all of Voldemort's rubbish would have done that. They'd have killed it."

"Remus is not an 'it', Harry," corrected Sirius so swiftly that it appeared to be more out of habit than anything else.

"Sorry," said the bespectacled boy, who smiled when his godfather waved off the apology. The boy then turned to Dumbledore, who was watching him with a warm expression. "Why are all of you arguing anyway? Of course Sirius isn't a Death Eater; he doesn't have the mark…and _all_ of Voldemort's followers had the mark put on them."

"Well," McGonagall answered as she proudly looked upon her pupil. "It seems that Mr. Potter has offered us a way to speed things along." She turned her attention to her two former pupils as she continued. "Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, if the two of you would be so kind as to show us your forearms…"

Sirius moved to push up his sleeves without taking his wand off Pettigrew, and then showed his perfect skin to the two elders. "See? Nothing…I would never have joined Voldemort."

"I never doubted," commented Dumbledore before turning his attention to Pettigrew once more. "Mr. Pettigrew, I believe it is your turn now."

Pettigrew moved with his fingers curled together as a rat would, he pushed up his right sleeve, his eyes darting from person to person. Then, as he gripped his left sleeve, he rushed for the door.

The squat man only made it a few steps before silver ropes flew from McGonagall's wand and wrapped themselves around him. At the same time, he was struck with a body-binding spell by Dumbledore, a leg-locking spell by Harry, and was hoisted up into the air by his ankle, courtesy of Sirius.

The binding spell was released and the ropes fell off as Sirius approached Pettigrew. The dark-haired man pulled down the blonde's left sleeve to reveal a faded mark of a skull with a snake slithering out of the mouth. Sirius stepped away in disgust as he aimed his wand at Pettigrew again.

"I didn't want to!" squeaked Pettigrew. "You have no idea what they threatened, Sirius! I had no choice!"

"Yes you did," Sirius snarled, "And you chose to betray us."

"I believe the Ministry would like to be contacted about this turn of events," stated Dumbledore as he handed an envelope to Fawkes, who immediately flew out of the window and disappeared into the horizon.


	3. Chapter 3

Once the Ministry was involved, proving Pettigrew's guilt was not difficult. However, they showed no interest in releasing a werewolf, claiming that Pettigrew's guilt alone did not prove Remus' innocence. Sirius was furious, and it was only when Dumbledore reminded him that fury alone would not help Remus case that the answer came to him.

Remus had never received a trial. Between the name of Albus Dumbledore and the wealth of Sirius Black they held the power to insist upon one, once they brought this fact into light. The trial was lengthier than it should have been, and Remus was not allowed to be released during it, but finally the Ministry could not deny the lack of evidence against the werewolf.

When a few Wizarding guards, along with two dementors, brought Remus to him, Sirius nearly did not recognise his friend. He was completely emaciated, covered in scars in various degrees of healing as well as many that were clearly permanent, and so pale he might have been mistaken for a ghost. His eyes, which were once warm and bright despite his reserved nature, were now empty and guarded. His fawn coloured hair was speckled with silver in spite of his young age and it hung, dirty and tangled, down to his waste. The plain prisoner's robes, which were hanging off his withered frame, were torn and blood stained.

When the wan werewolf was finally standing before him, face downcast and eyes fearful, the Animagus could not help but wrap his arms around the frail body and cry... partially out of relief, partially out of sorrow, and partially out of regret. He cried even harder when he felt the gaunt face press into his chest as long, thin fingers clutched onto his shirt.

In the months that followed, Sirius was glad that Harry was away at school for the first time since he helped him board the Hogwarts express. Not only did he not want Harry to have to see Remus in his current condition, but he also knew that he could not have pulled his attention away from Remus no matter how hard he tried.

The lycanthrope hardly ate, slept, or spoke; he was painfully sensitive to light; he suffered from terrible nightmares; he never smiled; and his monthly transformations were unbearable. The wolf seemed determined to tear itself apart. In fact, the first time that Sirius heard Remus speak a complete sentence was three weeks after they returned home, when the werewolf told the Animagus not to join him for the full moon.

However, Remus also seemed to find great comfort in Sirius' presence, and Sirius enjoyed having Remus' company again, even in his current state.

During his first week of freedom, Remus was far too weak to leave the house, so Sirius brought him some clothes that fit, as well as a new wand, and cut his hair for him.

Four weeks after he brought Remus home, Sirius began to sleep in the bed with him. The comfort of his presence allowed Remus to relax enough to sleep.

Six weeks after his return, Remus began to eat. His appetite was still rather weak, but it was enough that Sirius no longer feared that he would starve.

Three months after their reunion, Remus began to truly talk to Sirius. He did not wish to speak of what he had endured in Azkaban, and Sirius was surprised at how much the werewolf still could offer a conversation after being alone for so long.

Five weeks after he started speaking, Remus clung to Sirius after the Animagus had awoken him from another nightmare. Sirius soothed his lingering fears easily, and soon after the nightmares began to affect him much less.

Seven weeks after that night, Remus allowed Sirius to join him during the full moon. He made the Animagus promise to leave him if the wolf directed any violence at him, but it proved an unnecessary precaution, as the wolf appeared pleased to have one of its pack mates back.

A couple days after the following full moon, found Sirius lying in bed with his hands folded under his head, staring at the ceiling and listening to Remus' steady breathing. The werewolf was curled up against him, with his head nestled onto Sirius' shoulder and one thin, scarred arm holding him as though he were a pillow. When he felt Remus began to tremble, Sirius slid one hand out from under his head and bent his arm to stroke the other young man's soft fawn locks. This action was not enough to wake the lycanthrope, as Sirius knew, but it was enough to ease him for the time being.

During moments like these, Sirius allowed his mind to consider how much Remus meant to him. The scarred man's presence and absence affected Sirius more than any other's. He had just allowed himself to question whether his affection for the other young man was strictly platonic (a thought which had been trying to creep up on him as of late) when he was startled out of his revere by Remus' soft yet hoarse voice. "…Padfoot?"

"I'm sorry," said the Animagus as he shifted and looked down at the lycanthrope. "What did you say?"

Remus shifted as well, and raised his head so that his eyes met Sirius'…it was the first time he had maintained eye contact while speaking since his return. "I asked how long you've been awake."

Sirius just stared at the other's scarred face for several minutes before smiling, "Your eyes aren't empty anymore…they've even got some of their old warmth back."

Remus just watched Sirius' face curiously while the grey-eyed man rubbed his back absentmindedly. After a moment he spoke while still watching his friend's face, "I'm sorry that I worried you…I never meant to be a-"

"You have never been a burden, Moony," interrupted Sirius firmly. "And you never will be. I was miserable without you…having Harry was the only thing that kept me sane all these years. You may never know what it means to me to have you back."

Something in the werewolf's gaze softened before he responded, "I might. Actually, I have been wondering if you realise how much it means to me to be here." His eyes lowered as he softly added, "…with you."

Sirius could tell by the way that last part was added, that Remus did not just mean that he was glad to be out of Azkaban. However, Remus had always been so pleased to have friends, and so amazed to be liked by anyone, that Sirius was not sure if his own recent thoughts were causing him to read more into the simple words. Of course, Sirius also knew that if Remus had been having similar thoughts and feelings as he was, then the lycanthrope would never voice them or act on them.

"Moony…" began Sirius, "Remus, I've never wanted to hurt you…but I'm especially concerned about that now."

"Why is that?" asked the werewolf as he continued to stare somewhere around Sirius' clavicle.

"I've been having some thoughts lately, -nothing bad- but I'm not sure how to… I don't want to… I'm afraid…" Sirius struggled for words a moment longer before bluntly stating, "I love you."

"I love you too, Padfoot," answered Remus, and Sirius could tell by his tone that, though the words were sincere, he had misapprehended. The lycanthrope seemed to think that Sirius meant it in a friendly way, to prepare Remus for whatever he had been trying to say before.

Despite the misunderstanding, Sirius was touched that those words could fall so easily and sincerely from Remus after all that he had suffered over Sirius. He stroked the silver-streaked hair away from Remus face before whispering, "Moony, Look at me."

Without fail, Remus tilted his head and raised his eyes to meet the grey ones that were watching him carefully.

Still holding Remus' head with his hand and his gaze with his eyes, Sirius repeated his earlier statement, infusing the words with as much affection as he could. "I love you."

Remus blinked a couple times. Then, he took on an expression that was a combination of bemusement, hurt, and disbelief.

Sirius could not help but grin, "I can practically _see_ your thought process, you know."

"Then tell me what I'm thinking," Remus whispered hoarsely.

The grin faded as Sirius became concerned. "At first you paused to analyse my tone and expression. Then, you became puzzled because you think I could not _possibly_ mean that in the way it seemed." Sirius moved his other arm to wrap around Remus' slight waist before continuing, "And then you felt hurt because you cannot believe that anyone could ever feel that way about you." He stroked the fawn-coloured locks again, "Am I right?"

"Mostly," answered Remus, who was still whispering as if afraid that raising his voice would break the moment. "I also felt hurt because I _want _you to mean it that way…just _you_."

"Just me?" repeated Sirius as his grin reappeared.

"You're right, I cannot believe that anyone could feel that way about me," explained Remus quietly. "But I don't mind that anyone doesn't…except for you."

"But I do," said Sirius, still looking into the eyes that were starting to warm up again. "I do mean it like that, Moony. I do love you."

"I love you too," this time Remus' tone and expression were of affection, awe, and a deep-rooted sorrow. "But you deserve so much more…"

"More than what?" questioned Sirius petulantly.

"More than me," answered Remus dejectedly.

"More than you? Moony, you are so much more than you realise…than anyone realises." His grey eyes scanned over what he could see of the pale, still-too-frail body that was covered in scars, before staring into Remus' eyes again. "More then I could ever deserve, but I'm selfish enough to take you anyway…if you'll let me."

Sirius continued to stare into the thawing eyes before him, which seemed to be searching his own eyes for something. The dark-haired man felt another wave of concern when he noticed the unshed tears threatening to fall. Before he could think of how he should react, (Remus always had been better at comforting), the werewolf blinked back the extra moisture and suddenly Sirius saw his old Moony staring at him. He was so shocked and thrilled that he could not stop starring into those familiar warm orbs until he noticed the first true smile to touch Remus' lips since before Azkaban, traitors, and lies took away his reasons to.

"Maybe we deserve each other, then," Remus whispered. "I love you, Padfoot."

"I think we do," Sirius smiled down at the lycanthrope. "I love you, Moony."

Sirius leaned down and brushed his lips against Remus pale ones. When he raised his head again, the werewolf seemed to be melting into his chest, which he held him against firmly.

"Now get some more sleep, love," he whispered to the frail figure that appeared truly comfortable and happy for the first time in over a decade, "You need it."

Remus nodded feebly, the emotional excursion having clearly worn him out, before drifting into sleep once again. Sirius continued to hold the slumbering lycanthrope and stoke his hair for some time afterwards.

Then the grey-eyed man drifted into sleep as well, with a reassuring grip on his lover and a smile on his face.

_Fin._


End file.
